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Between long hours, late nights, and constant anxiety, it can seem like work has taken over your life. You have trouble shutting off and can’t seem to stay present in your daily life outside of work. If this sounds like you, you might have the sense that work is pretty much killing you.
In this post, we’ll look at the facts: how work impacts our physical and mental health, whether long hours are actually helpful (much less healthy), and how to avoid letting your job consume your whole life. We’ll also share tactical strategies to quit your job and discover a better fit.
Why does it feel like work is killing me?
The World Health Organization (WHO) lists a series of clear risks to mental health at work. The risks span workload, duties, hours, upward mobility, health and safety, compensation, and company culture.
Here are employees’ top mental health threats:
The work is too easy, too hard, or unclear
When work is too simple, you power through it quickly. You want meaningful, substantial tasks, but colleagues keep dumping easy work on you.
But when work is too hard, you might feel incompetent, like you don’t deserve to be here — and that hits hard.
And sometimes, your job role is just unclear. You may be given responsibilities outside your job description, or not even HAVE a clear job description!
A newsletter subscriber shared that they’d quit their new job after 3 months because it no longer resembled what they’d interviewed for. If this has happened to you, you’re not alone!
There’s too much or not enough work
With too much to do, working long hours doesn’t seem to matter — it feels like the work is never done, and it never gets easier. You might miss deadlines and constantly feel behind.
But when there’s not enough to do, you’re often bored. It might sound like the dream to scroll social media and text your friends at work, but waiting around can be worrisome, too. If there’s not enough work for you, will they eliminate your role — and fire you?
Whether too much or not enough, stressing over the wrong workload is a one-way ticket to job burnout.
Click for 7 strategies to fight workplace burnout.
What’s considered an excessive workload? (PAA)
According to the WHO, working 55+ hours per week comes with serious health risks — including death.
But besides the number of hours, an excessive workload is one that causes you deep distress, compromises your performance and ability to meet deadlines, feels unsustainable, and impacts your life outside of work.
In the wrong job, even a “normal” workload can seem excessive due to misalignment, disinterest in the work, or an unhealthy work environment.
You’re not interested in the work
Feeling disconnected from your work can be incredibly stressful! Your mind and body generally want to do anything else other than your duties. That means you’re exerting a ton of energy and effort toward daily tasks.
You drag yourself to work just to complete projects you don’t care about. At the end of the day, you leave feeling like you’ve accomplished nothing — even if your colleagues, manager, or clients are happy with your work.
Disinterest may not seem like the worst thing that could happen at work, but it’s a valid problem.
You lack autonomy or control over your work
Having little to no control over your work is a huge contributor to workplace stress. Your duties and projects get handed to you. You don’t get to choose what you do and don’t have the authority to refuse. Your hours are set, and you’re forced to come into the office on specific days of the week.
My clients often list autonomy as one of their most important workplace values — and often, it’s because they feel powerless in their current jobs.
There’s no room for growth
Whether your workplace doles out undeserved promotions, you’re disinterested in the roles above you, or you’ve reached the top of the ladder, the core problem is the same.
A lack of room for growth can leave you feeling aimless, unvalued, and uncertain about your future.
The environment or requirements clash with your physical and intellectual needs, wants, or values
Even if you aren’t clear about your workplace values, there will be signs. Constant pushing to do or say things that don’t feel right to you — ethically, socially, or just in your gut. An uneasy feeling when office gossip spreads. A job that requires you to talk with clients all day long, as a total introvert.
Physical health and safety factors in here, too. Chronic headaches from the fluorescent lights or lack of ergonomic office equipment. Being asked to lift heavy items without training or tools. Whatever the issue, when work feels like a constant battle, it can seem like your job is killing you.
The pay, benefits, or sense of job security are insufficient
When you don’t earn enough to live comfortably or even pay the bills, it touches every area of your life. If some compensation comes in the form of 401(k) matches, healthcare premium payments, or stock options, you might be “earning” a lot. But your net pay makes you feel cash-poor.
What’s more, 65% of surveyed US workers ages 26-43 say job insecurity has a significant impact on their stress levels. With nearly 2 in 3 of us stressed about this, it’s no wonder work seems to be killing you!
Your boss, colleagues, or clients exhibit unsupportive, discriminatory, or otherwise toxic behavior
Your manager and colleagues should have your back. When they don’t, it adds to your stress! Poor company culture can manifest in exclusion, harassment, bullying, and even violence.
Racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, and other forms of prejudice can lead to microaggressions and full-on discrimination.
Whether your work environment creates uncomfortable, toxic, or downright illegal situations, all of these unhealthy behaviors can compound work stress.
7 signs your job is killing you
You’re the best judge of how work impacts you. Don’t let anyone else tell you “it’s not that bad!” Here are 7 common signs your job is harming you.
1. You’re suffering from mental health issues
84% of surveyed US workers can link their job to a mental health challenge. But in another survey, 46% feared they’d lose their job if they brought up their mental health at work.
Whether work has created or exacerbated existing mental health challenges, if left untreated, this can pose serious harm to your mental and physical well-being.
Please consider seeing a therapist to manage your mental health! This can keep you safe while giving you the tools, energy, and determination you need to make a change at work.
2. You’re seeing impacts on your physical health and overall well-being
Maybe you’re always tired. You might be getting sick more often than normal. Exercise is harder than it used to be, or you’re experiencing unusual pain.
It’s a good idea to rule out underlying medical conditions, so go see your doctor! But according to the American Psychological Association (APA), stress can impact every single system in your body.
One workday, I had a persistent heavy sensation in my chest. It was difficult to take a full breath. After a few hours, I began worrying about a heart attack, since women’s symptoms can be usual. So I… drove myself to the hospital. (This is NOT what you should do, by the way.)
They had to re-run my EKG, which did NOT help ease that concern! But in the end, the diagnosis was either anxiety or pleurisy, but they couldn’t be sure which — and sent me on my way.
My point is: stress isn’t actually “all in your head.” It impacts your entire body.
3. Chronic stress impacts your personal life
You can’t switch off. Your heart is constantly racing and you have trouble sleeping.
When you’re not at work, you’re thinking about work. When your partner tells you about their day, you’re still thinking about yours. And when you’re eating dinner, using the bathroom, or prepping for bed, you’re checking emails and Slack/Teams notifications.
You cancel plans because of the pit in your stomach and don’t enjoy things you used to. Constant stress has taken over.
4. You dread work from morning til night
The Sunday Scaries start on Saturdays now. Your brunch dates, meant to be fun and relaxing, turn into full-on vent sessions complete with ugly-crying — thanks, bottomless mimosas.
You wake up wishing you had the flu, or a broken arm, so you could skip work. Maybe you’ll get into a fender-bender and at least get to be late? You catch yourself in thoughts like these and feel a deep sadness laced with heart-pounding anxiety.
5. You’re disengaged
You couldn’t care less about work. So it just doesn’t seem fair that you think about it constantly!
Despite your hard work, positive feedback, successes, promotions, or even a great boss, this job seems like a dead end. It doesn’t matter what you accomplish, or the fact that most people would probably kill to have this job! You just aren’t interested, focused, or invested.
This doesn’t mean you’re performing poorly. You might even be surpassing expectations! You just don’t actually care.
6. You have difficulty concentrating
Focus? What’s that? You haven’t been in a flow state in so long, you barely remember what it’s like. Between self-doubt, disengagement, fitful sleep, no sense of purpose, and a noisy office and/or constant Slack/Teams pings, concentration is a myth at this point.
7. You’re working long hours
A Slack study found that employees who felt forced to put in work after-hours…
- Were 20% less productive
- Reported being 2.1x more stressed by work
- Reported feeling 2x more burnout
According to the WHO, compared to a standard 35- to 40-hour week, working 55+ hours per week is linked to ~35% higher risk of stroke and 17% higher risk of death from ischemic heart disease.
So, there you have it. Working long days and excessive hours could not only impact your productivity and stress. It could, quite literally, be killing you.
Is my workplace toxic — or is it me?
When trying to find the root cause of your work stress, tons of possibilities can cross your mind. Eventually, you might wonder whether your work is the real problem, or if you’re just coping poorly with everyday stress.
Here’s how to tell:
It’s probably your job or workplace if:
- You have persistent problems with a colleague, boss, or coworker (and you’re not the only one!)
- Your requests repeatedly go unheard or unheeded
- Your concerns are dismissed
- Folks repeatedly ignore or protest your reasonable boundaries
- You’re often interrupted after hours, on weekends, and on vacation
- You’re passed over for promotions despite meeting the qualifications
It may help to learn new skills or seek treatment for dealing with stress if:
- You have trouble switching off after work, even when no one’s pinging you
- You have trouble voicing your concerns or asking for what you need at work
- You’re on autopilot — without even realizing it, you end up checking or responding to emails and messages after hours, on weekends, and on vacation
- You generally like your job and the folks you work with, but can’t shake persistent anxiety, depression, or feelings of self-doubt or worthlessness
- You’re losing sleep, getting sick, or just don’t feel like yourself anymore
And if there’s some overlap between those lists? Maybe it’s both. And that’s ok! You can work on your mental health and stress management while acknowledging your need for a new role.
How to not let your job consume you
If you’re planning to stay in your current job for any length of time, it’s important to take care of yourself. Whether your goal is to find the root cause and make changes in your workplace, or just bide your time until you’re ready to leave, here are some ways to manage stress without quitting.
Take your vacation days. 46% of US workers who get paid time off (PTO) don’t take all their available vacation days. Don’t be part of this group! Even if you don’t travel somewhere, taking time off helps you reconnect with who you are outside of work and gives you space to decompress. For example, you can even use a PTO day to get clear on your next career move — and the Career Breakthrough in a Day workbook could help:
Career Breakthrough in a Day
It’s time to uncover your ideal career and build a plan to make it happen!
Find meaning outside of the workplace. This doesn’t have to be time-consuming or a heavy lift. In fact, if you feel like work is killing you, it’s probably better to take a baby step than to create a huge new to-do list.
Start to distinguish your identity from your job. “So, what do you do for work?” This question is so normalized that it’s no wonder we can’t separate who we are from what we do. But establishing your own identity will make it easier to move away from, and eventually quit, your job.
Lean on support systems. Friends, family, work besties, and even supportive managers can help you through major work stress. If you’ve been afraid to ask for support at work, you might be surprised! Your manager may be able to redistribute some work, help you discover a better-fit role within the team or organization, or even recommend you for a better-fit role somewhere else.
Get financial clarity. When you aren’t sure where your money’s going, it’s hard to picture how a different job or different salary would work for your future. Discovering more opportunities to cut costs, bolster your savings, or save more for retirement can be empowering — and it can help you imagine new possibilities.
How to care less about work: learn more!
7 steps to quit a job that’s killing you
Is it time to quit? Here are 7 key steps to quitting your job with a strategic approach.
1. Set a goal
This doesn’t have to be a forever goal.
If you’re mired in burnout, especially if it’s affecting your health, the best solution might be to get out ASAP. You just may not have the energy, capacity, or presence of mind to dream big, or to dream at all. That’s ok. It’s vital to meet yourself where you are. It’s time to break out of chronic stress and do what’s best for you.
If you want to or need to, it’s ok to quit without another job lined up. You deserve to take a break. It just takes a bit of planning.
2. Build a realistic plan with a start and end date
You have to get clear on when you’ll start taking steps toward a different life — and when your cutoff date is to quit.
The reality is that what feel like reasons not to quit are really just details you haven’t figured out yet.
Having a quit-by date gives you an incentive to work out those details. As with anything unknown, it feels most daunting before you start, less intimidating once you start, and 10000% worthwhile when you take the leap.
But it all starts with setting a timeframe. Otherwise, take it from me — you’ll stay for years longer than you ever meant to.
3. Fill in the details
Your plan might be 2 steps, but it might also be 27. So, in the time between now and putting in your notice, it’s time to fill in the gaps!
At the least, you’ll need:
- A budget that factors in monthly expenses, all sources of income, and savings
- A schedule that includes your quit-by date as well as your timeframe for starting work again
- A discussion and agreement with any household members who may be impacted
- An idea of your next job (vague or specific, part-time or full-time, self-employed — anything goes!)
If you’re not clear on your next move but need to quit ASAP, that’s ok — in the next section, we’ll cover ways to decide.
4. Write a resignation letter
This is a formal document that declares your intent to leave. It may seem outdated (can’t you just start a Slack call with your manager?), but it’s still considered essential.
Be sure to include your full name, your last day, and any details you want to share (keep it simple), and hand it directly to your manager during a 1-on-1 meeting. If you’re fully remote, send it by email and CC the human resources department.
For more about effective resignation letters, check out this post: How to Quit A Job the Right Way.
5. Put in your notice
What’s the right amount of notice? It depends.
Regardless of your workplace environment, don’t quit on the spot unless you truly have no other option (mental health crisis, medical emergency, family emergency).
If your workplace has toxic tendencies — say, a colleague put in notice and was fired on the spot, or job postings go up before employees are let go — stick with two weeks’ notice. Any less compromises your chances of a reference. You may not need or care about that; the choice is up to you!
If your workplace is healthier, with supportive managers who want to see you succeed, more notice might create better outcomes for you and the company.
6. Stick it out
There’s no reason for you to bend over backwards during your last few weeks. So don’t shake things up or try to “win” at leaving your job. Don’t skirt your responsibilities, either! You’re still getting paid. So do what needs to be done, skip the long hours, and get ready for a future you actually want.
7. Recover
Whether you’re starting a new job right away or taking some time to rebuild your mental health and personal life, rest is an essential step. If your previous role was a negative influence for months or years of your life, it’ll take some time to fully process what you’ve been through.
Be gentle with yourself and prioritize your well-being as much as you can. This may include working with a therapist, mentor, or coach to process your experience and discover what’s next.
How to find a new job or career that truly fits you
So, how do you decide what new position fits you best? Here are some strategic ways to figure it out.
- Get clear on why you left or plan to leave. What was it, specifically, about this job that was wrong for you? Every person, project, meeting, duty, commute, crossed boundary… ev-er-y-thing!
- Explore your goals and desires. What truly matters to you? Where do you want to be in 6 months? 12 months? 5 years?
- Tap into what you used to like about your last job. Then think about each job you’ve had, all the way back to your first job! Include internships, volunteer opportunities, and temp jobs, too.
- Determine your core values. They’re not just for corporations — individuals have them, too! Think of times when you felt proud of yourself, and times when you felt conflicted. Describe your emotions and thoughts in those times; this points to your values.
- Separate your skills (what you’re good at) from your interests (what you actually enjoy). As a high achiever, it might be hard to distinguish the two — but it’s essential to avoid ending up in another job that kills you.
- Detail your priorities. What’s most important to you at this moment? What do you wish you put more time and energy into? And where does your career fall on that spectrum?
- Research and explore careers that fit your likes, goals, interests, and priorities. Narrow the field by determining non-negotiables about your environment, compensation, benefits, location, and more.
- With a clear role in mind (or a small handful of options), identify your transferable skills. Sometimes, we think we need to start here — but in my experience, it’s harder to see how your skills transfer when you don’t know what role you’re transferring to.
- If things aren’t clear yet, tests and assessments can help. With upfront clarity on your own priorities, you can sort through generic test results more easily.
For more detail, check out this post: Want a Change of Careers? 10 Steps to Clarity
What if I get stuck?
It’s ok to ask for help! Outside support, whether from friends, family, or a trained professional, could be exactly what you need to shift from uncertainty to confidence.
Curious how coaching could help you? Learn more about my career discovery coaching services.
