Find Your Purpose and Passion With 5 Unexpected Questions

People say that your purpose in life will reveal itself to you, but is that true? If you’re in your thirties and are starting to feel like you’ll never find your purpose and passion, maybe there’s another way. What if you get to decide what your purpose is, instead of “revealing” or “uncovering” it?

In this blog post, we’ll check out 5 unexpected questions to help you reflect, find meaning, and uncover passion and purpose in your career — including a bit about how values come into play. Let’s do this!

1. What’s Your Definition of Purpose?

Purpose is a deeply personal concept.

It’s not about what society, your family members, or your friends expect from you. It’s not external at all.

Your purpose is only truly your purpose if YOU are the one that wants it.

So if you’re waiting for your purpose to reveal itself, you may be starting to worry that it’ll be a lifelong journey — or never emerge at all. It’s time to take a step back and ask what “purpose” means to you.

Is it about making a difference? Finding personal fulfillment? Nurturing your overall well-being? Using your natural skills and talents? And does it really involve your career?

There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. But understanding your unique definition of purpose can help align your career with what truly matters to you — whether that’s a passion, your purpose, or a satisfying gig that pays the bills.

White feminine-presenting person wearing silver glasses, black shirt, and black blazer with gold accents sits at a wooden countertop in a breakroom, with coffee appliances, a sink, and a toaster behind her. The countertop holds paper, sticky notes, and a laptop. She seems to be daydreaming out the window, maybe thinking of a more fulfilling career. — *Do you want a career that aligns with your purpose and passions? Or just something relatively fulfilling that pays the bills? No wrong answers!*

2. Do You Believe Personal Fulfillment Will Find You?

I spent most of my life believing that my purpose would reveal itself to me. It’d be a miracle: a magic moment that would define my whole life.

While it can be comforting to think that way, it’s also limiting. In that story, your purpose is out of your control. You don’t have a say in what it will be. You might feel frustrated and impatient, spending decades waiting for it to show itself.

That kind of thinking led me to feel lost throughout my teenage years and 20s, when my interests changed on a whim and I didn’t stick with anything for longer than a year or two. Surely, my passion and purpose in life would find me at some point… so until then, I could just keep fumbling around and reaching for whatever seemed convenient. Right?

But eventually, I realized that purpose wasn’t going to find me. I was in charge of my well-being — and it was up to me to discover passion and purpose.

Blue sky with fluffy white clouds above a field. There's a road and an empty green shanty bus stop, which looks as though the bus doesn't come very often or at all. Kind of like waiting for your purpose or passion to come along, instead of playing an active role... — *You can wait around for the purpose bus to come to you… but like anyone hoping for a ride at this abandoned stop, that bus may never come. So go out and find it!*

3. What If You Get to CHOOSE Your Purpose?

If you could relate to my story of waiting endlessly for your purpose to “reveal itself” to you, I’d like to share this way more empowering perspective:

What if it’s not so much about finding purpose as it is about choosing your purpose — on purpose?

Instead, consider the possibility that you have an active role in discovering what a meaningful life is for you.

Rather than waiting for it to come knocking on your door, you can choose to be proactive in defining what lights you up. You can stop waiting, worrying that you might be in your 50s or 60s before that magical “aha moment” happens to you. Because it doesn’t have to happen TO you. Instead, you have the power to create it.

You are in charge of your well-being — so you have to listen to yourself. Look at your skills, your interests, and the way you show up in the world — or the way you’d like to show up in the world. And then, you have to make a real path to greater satisfaction.

For most people, what you’re “meant to do” won’t just fall in front of you one day. Instead, creating your purpose takes focus. It’s a practice of self-discovery, self-awareness, curiosity, and even decision-making. What impact do you want to make in the world? What activities make you lose track of time?

When you take control of your purpose and true passion, you create the opportunity to forge your own path — with or without a divine “aha moment.”

A hand with thick silver ring rests on an open notebook with dark gray pages. A white band spreading across the pages reads "LET'S GET STARTED." A black pen rests near the notebook and we also see the edge of a silver Macbook laptop. — *If your purpose hasn’t shown up yet, you can start taking action to find it instead.*

A Word About Core Values

If you’re struggling to identify what a purposeful life could look like, you may not have a good understanding of your core values — and how they contribute to your purpose.

If that sounds like you, know that like finding your purpose, defining your values is an in-depth process. This is only the first step.

Here are some prompts to focus and reflect on as you start moving in the right direction.

1. In what circumstances do you feel most like yourself? What activities bring you the most joy and meaning? At work, at home, with family, with friends, pursuing hobbies… no wrong answers.

1. What experience in life has brought you the most fulfillment, or felt the most rewarding? This could be related to childhood memories or your life now. If more than one idea comes to mind, it’s worth it to spend time with each of them.

1. How did you feel during this rewarding experience?

1. How do you feel looking back on that experience now?

You can free-write, make a voice memo, record a video, or whatever method of exploration feels most comfortable to you. Then go back and pick out themes or words from your answers to discover possible values.

The feminine-presenting hands of a person of color with brown nail polish and rings hold a long, thin booklet of color palettes. On the table are several other versions of the same color palette. — *There are as many values in the world as colors in the spectrum. So don’t conform to the ones you think you should have — get curious about the ones that really represent you.*

4. What Limiting Beliefs Do You Have About A More Fulfilling Life?

Limiting beliefs can hold us back from discovering our true purpose. And they can be hard to overcome because we aren’t always aware of them.

When you think about something the same way for months, years, or a lifetime, you stop noticing it. Those thoughts no longer feel like opinions; now, they feel like unchangeable facts. But often, they aren’t.

So, what beliefs are preventing you from pursuing a fulfilling life? Do you believe that your purpose has to be huge and world-changing? Do you think you don’t have the talent or skill to do what you want? Maybe you compare your passions with those around you and lose sight of yourself. You worry that your skills and interests aren’t as impactful or important as theirs, or that you aren’t as passionate as they are.

Changing limiting beliefs doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a “progress over perfection” sort of thing. So once you have a handle on some of the beliefs that are holding you back, don’t put more pressure on yourself. Instead, try to remember that your thoughts aren’t facts.

You’ll still find yourself thinking, “I can’t do this,” or “It’s not worth it.” But once you’ve acknowledged your limiting beliefs, you can start to add on to those thoughts…

“I can’t do this. … That’s something I used to really believe. But now, I know that the only person who’ll truly stop me from doing this is me.”

It’s not about removing the thoughts and never facing those limiting beliefs again. Instead, it’s about changing direction: talking back to them using what you know now.

An open notebook on a white linen bedspread with a yellow pencil nearby; a strong shadow eclipses the scene so that the sun highlights the notebook and pencil. — *Challenge your thoughts — and write new ones.*

5. Are Purpose and Dream Job The Same Thing?

Purpose and a dream job are often used interchangeably, but they are not necessarily the same thing. And get this: you don’t have to believe in dream jobs to find personal fulfillment in your career! I don’t.

That’s because the concept of a dream job seems like something that brings you unconditional joy. Something you’ll love 100%, day in and day out. You’ll “never work a day in your life.” And that just never felt believable to me.

Most of us work because we have to. That doesn’t mean we have to hate our jobs — which those of us who have hated our jobs really need to hear! But, it also doesn’t mean we have to love them, adore them, and prioritize them over everything else as a result. We can find them fulfilling and purposeful — without being idyllic or dreamy.

Research on Passion, Purpose, and Fulfillment At Work

In 2019, a Harvard Business School professor surveyed Columbia University MBA students about important goals for their future careers. Over 90% of them listed “pursuing their passion” among their goals.

But research suggests that employers and employees have different definitions of what it means to be passionate about work.

According to Harvard research, employees tend to define passion as a sense of fulfillment and caring deeply about their work.

Yet, employers might define passion as a commitment to going beyond job descriptions or accepting extra responsibilities — not exactly a meaningful interpretation.

So it makes sense that while passion may be an important career goal for 90% of those surveyed students, it’s not showing up as prominently in our jobs. In fact, only 47% of employed US adults surveyed say they find their job fulfilling all or most of the time.

And honestly, that feels high to me… right?

By the way — in that survey, workers with higher incomes and/or postgraduate degrees were more likely to feel fulfilled at work. And that’s on privilege! Interestingly, adults ages 65+ were more likely to feel fulfilled by their work, too.

Anyway…

Your purpose and your professional life can align. But you don’t have to bend over backward to find a proverbial “dream job.” And what’s more, your purpose can involve — but doesn’t have to be ALL about — your career.

A Black feminine-presenting person with natural hair grins while sitting in an office with a laptop in their lap. They wear a light gray turtleneck and charcoal gray pants. — *You deserve a fulfilling career. It should align with your passions, but it doesn’t have to be your purpose — and it definitely doesn’t have to be a “dream job.”*

Find Your Purpose and Passion: FAQs

Purpose and passion are a big part of our lives. Here are some common questions to help you along your journey!

What is passion and purpose?

Many experts lay out key differences between passion and purpose. Some say that you can have multiple passions but only one purpose. Others say that true passion is the emotion you feel and purpose is the reason behind that passion.

Here’s what I’d say:

I agree that you can have one passion or many passions. But your purpose doesn’t have to be deeply interconnected with each passion. It will probably link closely to just 1 or 2 of them.

And to take it a step further…

I don’t believe that we all have just one purpose.

You may feel strongly about this, and we don’t have to agree! But I believe we can have more than 1 co-existing purpose at once, and/or you may have a purpose now that will change later in life.

So if you felt a deep sense of purpose in your 20s, and you’re confused about how that’s shifted in your 30s — I wouldn’t think of it as “losing your purpose,” but a natural result of growing and changing over time.

Nearly identical leaves lined up on a park bench, starting at left with a green leaf, then a greenish yellow, then yellow, then orange, then red. — *Leaves change. Seasons change. You change. Your passion and purpose may change, too.*

What is an example of passion and purpose?

Passions are anything you’re interested in (for longer than a day or two). You can feel passionate about social justice, gardening, running, and dogs.

Purpose may outlast some of your passions, but it usually overlaps with 1 or more of them. So if you’re struggling to find purpose, your passions may hold clues.

In this example, perhaps your purpose in life is to help others feel seen and accepted — and that aligns with your interest in social justice, an inclusive community of gardeners, and an accepting community of runners.

How do I find or rediscover my passion and purpose?

As your passions change, you may find that new passions align with your existing purpose. Or, you might also find that your sense of purpose changes over time.

We are not concrete statues, never changing. We are living people — we are meant to change. That’s a foundational part of finding or rediscovering your passion and purpose.

Once you acknowledge that change isn’t an enemy of purpose, but a part of it, you can see things differently. Now, you have permission to start exploring how your true passions and purpose grow and change.

Conclusion: Discovering Your Purpose And A Meaningful Life

To bring your purpose into focus, start here:

- Redefine purpose

- Reframe the concept of purpose finding you vs. choosing your purpose

- Explore your values

- Identify limiting beliefs and start talking back to them

- Decide the role that purpose will play in your career and in your life (no wrong answers!)

Although I hope you feel more empowered to discover your purpose now, try not to rush it. You’re about to reflect on huge questions about who you are, what matters to you, and the direction you want your life to move from here.

Your purpose hasn’t fallen into your lap yet because, even once you take control of it, your self-discovery won’t be as instantaneous or miraculous as that.

Instead, it’s a new chapter in your life — one where you are more gentle with yourself, more curious, and more patient. This process takes time to achieve, but the journey is so very worth it.

If you’re grappling with big questions and looking for outside help, you might wonder what kind of professional support could help you most with this. If so, check out my post, Therapist vs. Coach vs. Mentor: How To Decide What’s Right For You.

Ready to Discover Your Passion and Purpose?

If you’re yearning for a career that truly fulfills you, it’s time to take control. You can decide to choose your purpose!

Here are some more resources that can help on your journey:

4 Powerful Ways to Prepare for Career Transitions

Want a Career Change In Your 30s? What You Need to Know

Career Change at 35: Is It Too Late?

And if you’re looking for exclusive content, join our mailing list! We’ll help you see exactly why your career isn’t the right fit, dig deep to learn what you really want, and start your path to a more satisfying career.

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