If you’re wondering how to care less about work, you probably want a more relaxed approach to your job. Most people would prefer spending evenings and weekends enjoying themselves — instead of worrying about their next workday.
With respect, and at the risk of disappointing you, let’s start with this truth:
The root of your job worries may not be solved with quick fixes.
We hope the strategies in this article give you some relief! But TBH, you won’t magically stop stressing about work tomorrow. There’s likely deeper effort required — and maybe some changes to your career path.
For now, let’s take a look at enriching your life outside of work, setting boundaries, embracing imperfection, and investing in personal growth — all so you can care less about work and live in better balance.
TL;DR: The Key Takeaways
- Taking an active role in your life outside of work — engaging in hobbies, building strong relationships, and prioritizing self-care — may help you care less about work on evenings and weekends.
- Establishing boundaries such as setting work hours, limiting after-hours communication, and saying no helps protect personal time and mental health. It sounds impossible at first, but you may see benefits quickly!
- Redefining success to align with personal values and celebrating achievements outside of work creates a more holistic and fulfilling life perspective — beyond just professional accomplishments.
- And finally, about that “root of your job worries” thing — for a longer-term solution, it may be time to take a look at whether your company, role, or career is the right fit for you.
Finding Fulfillment Outside of Work
Do you associate your worth with your job or salary?
While it’s natural to take pride in our professional achievements, there’s more to life than just work — even when the after-hours communications, weekend overflow, and stressful projects at your company make it hard to see things that way.
Finding fulfillment in your personal life can bring you joy. By putting more effort into the non-work stuff that lights us up, we bring balance by making our lives less about work and more about us.
Maybe you find fulfillment when you:
- Make time for hobbies and passions
- Strengthen relationships or serve your community
- Prioritize self-care (whatever that looks like to you)
Let’s look at these actions in more detail.
1. Pursuing Hobbies and Passions Outside of Professional Development
Time flies when you’re doing something fun. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe, painting a landscape, or biking down a scenic trail, these activities can provide an escape from the pressures of work. They give us a chance to live in the moment and enjoy life’s simpler pleasures.
But this flow state is elusive — both in and outside of work. So be honest with yourself about what you truly enjoy doing today.
Even if you happened to love singing as a teenager, you may not love it anymore. Your hobbies may not even be the same since last year. And they probably aren’t the things you think you “should” enjoy.
So when you feel like you have “no time” for yourself — you’re going to hate this, but that’s exactly when you need to TAKE more time for yourself.
Don’t have any hobbies or passions anymore? That’s ok. At the height of my work anxiety, I didn’t, either.
Losing touch with hobbies and joy outside of work can indicate that you need to get to the real root of your unhappiness at work.
But lack of enjoyment in things you once loved can also be a sign of depression.
If that resonates, you’re not alone — 1 in 6 people will experience depression at some point in their lifetime. And you can get help.
If you’re in the US and experiencing a mental health crisis or feeling suicidal, FREE 24/7 crisis support is available:
Call or text 988 for help now.
2. Building Strong Relationships
Venting when you’re overwhelmed doesn’t often solve problems, but it has its place!
Whether it’s a friend, family member, or partner, the strong relationships in our daily life provide us with emotional support and a sense of belonging. These bonds help us navigate work challenges and maintain perspective on what truly matters.
Spending quality time with our loved ones, showing genuine interest in their big ideas, and sharing personal stories can strengthen our bonds.
And when they do the same for you, your attitude may shift. You might even feel more resilient to work challenges. What relationship can you begin to pour more time into?
3. Prioritizing Self-Care
It’s easy to put work before everything else — especially when you worry about it constantly.
But when putting work before our physical and mental health, it doesn’t take long to realize this:
We can’t be productive at work when we’re unhealthy.
Prioritizing self-care and rest can feel like a luxury, but it’s a necessity. And you have to understand your definition of self-care to get the most benefit.
If meditation is hard, you can keep trying — or try something else. If HIIT classes make you more anxious, try gentler ways to move your body. And if that nightly glass (or two) of wine is leaving you hangxious the next morning, is that really “self-care”?
So open your Notes app to reflect on the activities and rituals that:
- You most look forward to
- You enjoy doing in the moment
- Make you feel most like yourself
- You feel refreshed, relaxed, rejuvenated, or invigorated after doing
- You see lasting benefits from later that day/week
Those things are your personal types of self-care — which you need to remind yourself to prioritize. Just like hobbies, don’t feel pressure to do what anyone else thinks you “should” do for self-care.
Setting Boundaries at Work
Setting boundaries at work can feel impossible.
How can you push back on what seems to be standard behavior for everyone else?
Will you be seen as “less of a team player” or even as violating your employment agreement?
If you’re stuck in doubt, you could need a confidence boost — or, you might be in the wrong work environment.
A workplace doesn’t have to be #toxic to be a bad fit.
For example, I was in the digital agency world — a high-pressure industry with neverending workweeks and an INTENSE sense of urgency. I could set some guidelines, sure, but if my personal needs conflicted with what the company and clients expected of me, it just wouldn’t work out.
So where possible, reflect on what would be most beneficial and realistic. Is it:
- Establishing firm work hours?
- Setting expectations on response times?
- Limiting excess demands outside of your job description?
By putting boundaries in place, we can move toward healthier work-life balance. Let’s explore effective methods to do this.
1. Establishing Work Hours
This can be tough. I once had a job where we could only work on-site during office hours (on-premise company equipment only). Looking back, that was bliss… because the agency world needed me to be constantly available for more work and to respond to clients all over the world.
What specific working hours does your contract require? If listed, stick to those. If not, pick reasonable hours and make sure your supervisor(s), colleagues, and clients are aware of them.
And remember: Your behavior teaches people how to treat you! So, when you set work hours but don’t stick to them, people notice — and they’ll want more of your time.
2. Limiting Work-Related Communication
I was a 24/7 Slacker. Not “slacker” like not doing my job… Slacker, like on the Slack app. All the time.
Responsiveness can feel like something you need to prove. But if you’re in a leadership position like I was, it also sets a standard for your team to be responsive 24/7 too. Instead of looking like a model boss or employee, you’ve ruined everyone’s evenings and weekends.
So, as with establishing work hours, set clear rules on what work-related tasks you won’t do after hours. Use your Slack status to indicate when you aren’t available. This way, your personal time doesn’t become unpaid work time.
3. Learning to Say No
In our quest to prove ourselves, we may say yes to everything. However, this can lead to excessive workload and burnout. Learning to say no to unreasonable requests or excessive workloads is crucial to protect our time and energy.
Saying no doesn’t mean we’re not committed or hardworking. Instead, remember that the more you say yes, the more extra work you’ll get.
For people-pleasers: Saying no doesn’t mean you have a bad attitude or are being rude. (Unless you’re taking a cue from those mugs up there…)
You can be clear, direct, and also polite, such as:
“I’ve got too much on my plate right now. Please check back for the next project, though.”
“Since I took on a project last weekend, this weekend won’t work for me.”
“I’ve found myself working too many late nights recently. I’m taking a break from extra commitments right now.”
You’ll be proud you stood up for yourself, and your colleagues will appreciate you leading by example.
P.S. As a startup-turned-large agency, over time, we collectively learned that saying yes to every project meant that we accepted projects that were doomed to fail — wild scopes, demanding clients, extremely tight timelines. So your “no” could actually be a win for the company!
Embracing Imperfection and Letting Go of Control
It’s hard to know what’s in our control. But trying to manage everything leads to stress and burnout.
Instead, remind yourself that it isn’t a perfect world. You can’t be a perfect employee, anticipate every scenario, or fix everything.
We can embrace imperfection and accept uncertainty by:
- Accepting our limits
- Focusing on what we can control
- Adopting a growth mindset
Let’s learn more about these concepts.
1. Accepting Your Limits
You can push to improve your work performance healthily, but we each have limitations. In the gym, you can lift progressively heavier weights with consistent effort — but you wouldn’t expect to suddenly lift 50 pounds heavier than you did last week.
Trying to be the best at everything right away, or prevent every negative outcome, can lead to burnout.
As a recovering perfectionist, one of my favorite phrases is, “Progress, not perfection.”
You can still aim to do a great job — and get better over time — without overdoing it.
2. Focusing on What You Can Control
We can’t control how others behave or react. But, we can own our side of the story by controlling our attitudes and responses.
If a certain person or situation at work sets you off, consider the difference between reacting (instantly taking action based on your initial thoughts and feelings) and responding (first using your head by considering your feelings, thoughts, and the scenario, then deciding how to handle it).
Focusing on what’s in our control removes extra weight from our minds and helps regulate our stress.
3. Adopting a Growth Mindset for Your Mental Health
Negative experiences can feel like failures, and you might dwell on what went wrong. But instead, consider what this experience is trying to teach you.
A growth mindset is about:
- Believing that success comes from hard work and learning — not just natural talent
- Viewing challenges as growth opportunities
- Becoming more resilient to setbacks
- Opening doors to new opportunities
Dealing with Workplace Challenges
By communicating effectively, seeking support from colleagues, and detaching from office politics and gossip, we can change how we deal with these workplace challenges.
Let’s see how these approaches can help.
1. Communicating Effectively
If there are always misunderstandings in your company, you need this tip!
Communication goes both ways, so clearly express your needs and concerns while listening to others with empathy and understanding.
This way, we can build stronger relationships with our co-workers, manage our workloads better, and create a positive, supportive work environment.
2. Seeking Support from Co-Workers
Colleagues and managers may understand better than you think. You can talk to them for advice and assistance — but perhaps more importantly, you may get emotional support and companionship.
Building a network of supportive colleagues can elevate our professional development and overall job satisfaction. So, reach out to your co-workers for help.
3. Detaching from Office Politics and Gossip
Office politics and gossip can feel like bonding with your coworkers, but in reality, they may lead to unnecessary stress and conflict.
You can do your job well, earn respect, and even form friendships with colleagues, all without getting caught up in office gossip. Plus, you won’t be thinking about all that drama after hours!
Redefining Success and Measuring Your Worth
Is your definition of success financial? Related to the title on your business card? Or more about fulfillment?
Let’s check out other ways to define success and your sense of worth — which may not even relate to your work.
1. Establishing Personal Values
What are your priorities — the more important things that truly matter to you in this world? These things, including family, friends, health, and yes, possibly your career, can point to your core values.
Defining and thinking deeply about core values and priorities can help us align our career with our purpose, ensuring that our work is meaningful and fulfilling on a deeper level.
2. Celebrating Non-Work Achievements
We tend to celebrate promotions and new jobs, but what about non-work achievements? Maybe it’s finishing a 5k, learning a new song on guitar, or helping a loved one.
These achievements are all the more worth celebrating when trying to care less about work, because they show you fulfillment as a whole person, not an employee.
By the way — celebrations can be simple. At the end of the week, you can go for a walk somewhere beautiful, try that new neighborhood bakery, or spend a little extra time luxuriating in the shower or bath.
So, next time you do something great outside of work, try to notice and congratulate yourself for it!
3. Embracing a Holistic View of Success
The journey to success is holistic. It’s not just about your job!
Remember those non-work achievements? Those are successes, too.
When you value friendships, caring for a friend in need is a great achievement. When you value personal growth, taking an online course in a subject you’re passionate about is a win.
Conclusion: Focus On What’s Good Outside of Work — Or Consider a Career Transition
When you want to worry less about work, you need to find ways to get it out of your head.
Focus on fulfillment outside of work, setting boundaries at work, embracing imperfection, dealing with workplace challenges in your control, and redefining success. You might find that your life both in and outside of work gets a little better every day.
But Wait — What If These Tips Don’t Seem to Help Your Daily Life?
Let’s say you gave the strategies in this post an honest try.
You stopped working long hours, refused the last 2 weekend projects that came your way, and tried a new restaurant to celebrate finding a workout routine that you love.
You even stopped laughing along to those office romance rumors and don’t check Slack when you aren’t working.
But you still have headaches. Insomnia coupled with Sunday Scaries. Dread logging into your accounts or walking into the office every morning.
You’re still snippy with your partner after a long day and, somehow, you care both way too much and not enough about work.
If that sounds like you, first of all, hats off to you for doing the best you could to make a tough thing better. You’ve just proved to yourself that you’re a person committed to making a positive change, and that’s huge!
But since the changes didn’t happen to help as much as you’d hoped, consider this possibility:
Maybe this isn’t the best job for you.
Maybe it’s not even the right career path.
That can be scary — but it might also be the start of a journey to a happier life.
Career Change Resources
Thinking about a career change, but worried it’s not the right move? Check out this blog post, Is Your Career Change a Bad Idea?
Not sure if a career change is right for you, or if you can commit to changing course? We have an affordable Career Clarity workbook for that.
And if you definitely want to change careers, but need support to define a fulfilling career and start going after it, career discovery coaching could be the answer.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I care less about my work?
Caring less about work is partly about maximizing your life outside of work. Make your personal life so fulfilling and exciting that work is just, well, work.
But it’s also important to ask yourself:
- What’s my relationship with work?
- Do I truly “care” about my work, or am I just overly stressed out about it?
- What beliefs do I have about work that reinforce this state? (Ex. I am a hard worker no matter what; I need to impress my boss; My worth is in my work; All types of work are stressful…)
When you’ve made your best effort but still find yourself “caring too much,” you might realize it’s time to re-examine your company or even your career path.
How do I not take too much work?
Meet the workload and hours requirements of your contract to the best of your ability, but stop going “above and beyond.”
Schedule something fun after work! Bonus points if it has a firm start time, like a workout class with no late entry.
Speak to your colleagues or manager when the workload feels unbalanced. You may be able to offload excess work or de-prioritize a non-urgent project.
How can I find fulfillment outside of work?
Make a list of things you enjoy and build in time for these things throughout the week. Maybe you’ll pursue hobbies, strengthen your relationship, or prioritize self-care! Consider evenings, weekends, and even lunch breaks.
How can I deal with workplace challenges?
Communicate openly and effectively with colleagues and managers. When you ignore challenges, it could take longer and be more difficult to resolve them.
How can I redefine success and measure my worth?
Get in touch with what’s truly important to you. I realize that’s easier said than done, and it’s a practice — not a destination.
For help finding a sense of purpose, check out this post: Find Your Purpose and Passion With 5 Unexpected Questions
